May you know you're worthy.
May you know you're enough.
May you know you're not alone.
I struggle with mental health, plain and simple.
I consider myself a passionate, driven, career-oriented, workaholic, who when a career was unexpectedly swept away buried my grief rather than seeking support to help me discharge pent up trauma.
In time, childhood strategies, which had served me well, were no longer functional and my body kept score of traumatic incidents and my unresolved grief.
For seven years, I experienced severe, complex physical trauma that a team of neurologists had a difficult time figuring out. Only, when I was completely incapacitated with daily seizures lasting between10-30 minutes in length, and up to eight in a single day, did I finally end up in a seizures investigation unit.
Diagnosed with P.T.S.D., F.N.D., O.C.D., and Anxiety, in February 2021, it was time to face exploring my past and to seek support. I needed to reflect on the baggage I was carrying and strategies that no longer serving me well.
This confident, perfectionist was brought to her knees by unresolved loss and grief. Finally, with the clarity of a diagnosis, I'd known, it was time. I reached out, called out and prayed asking for help. I finally realized I needed support. I've surrendered to my imperfection and am getting comfortable in my own skin.
Now, on the road to recovery, I'm telling & writing my story. A memoir set amidst the pandemic while simultaneously care-giving for my mother journeying through dementia.
FiNDing Hope: The Mind-Body Connection & Importance of Being Seen and Heard, might sit nicely on the bookstore shelf next to Mark Henick's, So-Called Normal or Megan Devine's, It's Okay that You're Not Okay. Both great memoirs, that I'd recommend anyone check out.
I write to process my own mental health journey, as well as to support others who may be struggling in silence. Might you be walking in similar footwear: alone, struggling in your workplace or looking in the mirror wondering:
"Who's going to speak for the girl in the mirror?
My name is Jocelyn Bystrom and I choose to speak up and advocate for: